i do not want what i haven't got

it's been eleven hours and fifteen days since you took your love away i go out every night and sleep all day since you took your love away since you've been gone i can do whatever i want i can see whomever i choose i can eat my dinner at a fancy restaurant but nothing i said nothing can take away the blues cause nothing compares nothing compares to you it's been so alone without you here like a bird without a song nothing seems to start these lonely tears from falling tell me baby where did i go wrong i can put my arms around every boy i please but they only remind me of you i went to the doctor and guess what he told me guess what he told me he said girl you better try to have fun no matter what you do but he's a fool cause nothing compares nothing compares to you all the flowers that you planted mama in the backyard all dried when you went away i know that being with me baby was sometimes hard but i wish we could give it another try nothing compares nothing compares to you nothing compares nothing compares to you nothing compares nothing compares to you

and this man came to me and ask me if i was ok and i say yes why ask and then they were all looking at me so i figured i was lying on the floor i must have passed out and i was dreaming. and i remember passing through a forest and suddenly someone came and gave me a key and told me they were all waiting for me so i entered a house and i had all i wanted but you weren´t there and i was told you were dead and you weren't coming back ever again and i felt like going away from everything including myself because i didn't want to be anywhere else. then this men woke me up and asked if i was ok and i said nothing .

this is one of the times i feel like saying everyhting although there's nothing to be said. i feel like waking up with a terrible hangover but i hadn't enough whisky last night. i feel like cold turkying but i didn't have much drugs. i feel like being so sored i can hardly walk, but i didn't get laid. i feel like dying, but maybe i'll leave that for the next time...i'm too lazy now to cut my wrists...

give me a breakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

oh God take me out of this life i can´t stand being so weepy and childish and GIRLISH because i never cry and i never fall in love and i'm all that matters to me - and that's all bullshit because i've never been able to avoid tears from falling in my keyboard while writing something up and i profoundly hate those singers that cry on stage because their mother died, their dog has broke a leg and his/her girlfriend went away just before they put the foot on stage with the light department man. where the fuck did everything go wrong?

#1

and i'm so happy bacause my head crashed down again and i told everyone i was on drugs when i met you and it's not true, it's just that it was raining and i couldn't quite see your face but i remember it was kind and i said ok. is there anyone gonna get me before i make up my mind and pack my stuff and go south because i don't belong there and it feels so good when you don't belong and you have a reason to complaint and you can convince anyone to get laid with you because you feel lonely and you're so beautiful and "can you get me a line?" sounds like your in the backstage of some kinda cabaret and you tights are wrecked and i need more pills...
shit...never had a rainy day?